Self-Care
Let’s Talk About Self-Care
We’ve all heard the term self-care thrown around, usually alongside images of spa days, expensive face masks, or someone sipping tea while wrapped in a fluffy robe. And while those things can absolutely be part of a self-care routine, they only scratch the surface.
As a psychotherapist, I often talk with clients about what real, meaningful self-care looks like. And I’ll be honest; it’s not always glamorous. In fact, it often looks like slowing down when everything in you wants to keep going, or saying "no" when it's easier to say "yes."
Let’s have a look at what self-care really means. How you can start integrating it into your life in a way that feels supportive, not like another thing on your to-do list?
What Is Self-Care?
At its core, self-care is the act of tuning into your needs and taking steps, big or small, to meet them. That might sound simple, but for many people, especially those who are used to caring for others, it can feel incredibly foreign. We live in a culture that often rewards overworking, over-giving, and overextending. So slowing down? Prioritising your own needs? That can feel radical.
But here’s the truth: you can’t give from an empty cup. If you’re not physically and mentally well yourself you are going to be of little use to others. When you care for yourself, you're not only protecting your well-being, you’re actually strengthening your capacity to be present and engaged with others. Consider, God forbid, there’s an emergency on a flight and the oxygen masks come down; you have to put your own on first before looking after others. If you’re not well you can’t look after others.
The Five Dimensions of Self-Care (And How to Practice Them)
Real self-care is multi-dimensional. It’s not just physical. It’s emotional, mental, relational, and even spiritual. Here’s how I like to break it down with clients:
1. Physical Self-Care
Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating in a way that sustains your energy? Are you moving your body, gently or vigorously, depending on what it needs?
Small, doable actions:
Going to bed at a regular time and getting a good night’s sleep
Drinking more water throughout the day
Taking a walk, stretching, or just stepping outside for fresh air
2. Emotional Self-Care
Emotional self-care means allowing space for your feelings, without judgment. It might mean naming what you're feeling ("I’m overwhelmed," "I feel lonely"), or giving yourself permission to feel it without needing to fix it right away.
Ways to practice:
Journaling about your day or emotions
Talking with a trusted friend or therapist
Practicing self-compassion instead of self-criticism
3. Mental Self-Care
Your mind needs care, too. This could be about stimulation, like reading, learning, or creativity, but it can also mean unplugging from overstimulation.
Ideas to try:
Setting boundaries around news or social media intake
Doing a puzzle, reading for pleasure, or learning something new
Taking mental breaks during the day to rest or reset
4. Relational (Social) Self-Care
Relationships are a key part of well-being. Are you spending time with people who nourish you or draining your energy trying to maintain connections that no longer feel healthy?
Consider:
Reaching out to someone who feels like a safe space
Saying “no” to a plan that doesn’t resonate with you
Creating boundaries around your time and availability
5. Spiritual Self-Care
You don’t have to be religious to have a spiritual self-care practice. It’s about connecting with something greater than yourself, whatever that is that gives you a sense of peace, purpose, or perspective.
Try this:
Spending time in nature
Meditating, praying, or journaling reflectively
Listening to music that moves you or makes you feel connected
Why Self-Care Often Feels So Hard
Here’s a gentle truth: self-care can bring up a lot of resistance.
Maybe you’ve been taught that putting yourself first is selfish. Maybe rest feels unproductive. Maybe you're so used to being the caregiver that it feels awkward, or even guilt-inducing, to receive care, even from yourself.
That’s okay. These are things many of us are unlearning. Self-care isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always feel good in the moment. Sometimes it looks like going to therapy, setting boundaries, or ending a relationship that’s no longer serving you. Sometimes it’s choosing to rest when your inner critic says you should be doing more.
But each time you listen to what your mind, body, and heart are really asking for, you’re practicing something powerful: self-trust.
Start Where You Are
If this all feels overwhelming, don’t worry, you don’t need to overhaul your life. Self-care isn’t about perfection. It’s about small, consistent choices that support your well-being.
Here are a few reflective questions you can ask yourself today:
What is one thing I can do today to support myself emotionally?
What am I saying “yes” to out of guilt or fear?
How does my body feel, and what might it be asking for?
When was the last time I did something just because it brought me joy?
Final Thoughts
Self-care is not a one-time fix or a luxury reserved for certain people. It’s a practice, a relationship you build with yourself over time. Some days it might be messy. Some days it might feel like a win just to make your bed and drink a glass of water. That counts.
You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to care for yourself not because you’ve earned it, but simply because you’re human and you deserve to feel well.
If you find yourself struggling to identify or prioritise your needs, therapy can be a supportive place to explore that. You don’t have to do it alone.
If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it or reach out for more support. I offer individual therapy sessions focused on helping people reconnect with themselves and build sustainable self-care practices. Please feel free to browse through www.holisticcounsellingireland.com.
