Life isn’t about Finding Yourself, it’s about Creating Yourself

We often hear the phrase, “Life is about finding yourself.” But what if that’s not entirely true? What if life is actually about creating yourself? This powerful perspective shift can profoundly influence how we approach identity, purpose, and personal growth.

Understanding "Finding Yourself"
“Finding yourself” is a popular concept, and many people interpret it as the quest to discover their true, authentic self. It suggests that:

·       There’s a fixed, pre-existing version of who you truly are.

·       Your role is to uncover this hidden essence, like searching for a lost treasure.

·       You might need to embark on deep introspection or life-changing experiences to uncover this "true self."

While this idea can be comforting, it can also be limiting. It implies that your identity is something predetermined, something you must “find” rather than create.

The Power of "Creating Yourself"
Now, let’s look at the alternative: “Creating yourself.” Instead of searching for something that already exists, this approach empowers you to shape your identity, beliefs, and life’s direction. It says:

·       You’re not someone to be discovered; you are someone to be created.

·       You hold the power to design your life, your values, your passions, and even your future.

·       Life is an act of creation, not just a passive discovery.

In this view, you are the artist of your own existence, you write your own life script. You’re not an archaeologist searching for something buried deep within. You are the canvas, the paint, and the painter all in one.

Why This Shift Matters
Choosing to focus on “creating yourself” instead of “finding yourself” opens up a world of possibilities. Here’s why:

1.     It Encourages Personal Responsibility: You’re not waiting for a mysterious “true self” to emerge. You’re actively deciding who you want to become.

2.     It Promotes Growth and Reinvention: The idea that you can reinvent yourself empowers you to evolve continuously. You are not stuck with a fixed identity.

3.     It Emphasises Freedom: This is one of our basic needs. You don’t have to figure it all out from the start. Life is about experimenting, learning, failing, and trying again.

Balancing Both Perspectives
While “creating yourself” is a liberating concept, it’s important to acknowledge that there’s value in “finding yourself” too. Sometimes, we need to look inward and rediscover forgotten parts of who we are. As life evolves in the busyness of every day we can forget what was important to us in childhood. But ultimately, becoming who you want to be is more about intentionality than passive discovery.

In Summary
Don’t wait to “find” your purpose, passion, or identity. Instead, take charge and decide who you want to be. Then, start creating it. Life is a journey of self-creation, and every step you take is a brushstroke in your masterpiece.

If you would like any assistance in creating yourself, I would love to help you. Please contact me, Dan Boland, at www.holisticcounsellingireland.com.